Kari and Justin finally meet the Doctor’s primary antagonists, “The Daleks,” and see what lengths are worth going to in order to put Ian Chesterton in a trash can. (The answer is: All of them. All the lengths.) Daleks Aren’t Robots!? is a podcast in which two Whovian friends take two non-Whovians on a deep dive through the show from the very beginning.

Theme: Garage – Monplaisir

Podcast Contents Include

Editor’s Note: The following are my original notes for the podcast, slightly edited for readability. My notes will get more complete in later installments of the pod. – Kari

THE DALEKS

0. The name of the podcast. I used to think Daleks was pronounced Day-leks, and also that they were robots. It turns out they are ugly little squid things who are piloting the trash can bots, when they take one out of its case. (I seriously thought the doctor had murdered it. I’m still not sure it survived.)
1. They also have plungers and egg beaters. I am not sure what the plungers do other than plunge, but the egg beaters are a paralysis weapon they nail Ian with at one point. They miss his mouth and get him in the legs though, unfortunately.
2. I do like that the Daleks lie.
3. The Daleks hate laughter.
4. What does it smell like in a Dalek casing? It doesn’t bear thinking about.

THE THALS

1. The Thals are FABULOUS. Puffy vests! Cut-out pants! A kicky little crown for the leader! A kicky fascinator for the woman! I wanna see these people in glorious technicolor!
2. That said, I mostly can’t tell them apart.
3. The show does not approve of pacifism and shows it to be wrong.
4. “We always do what the leader of our race decides for us, but he never does anything without our approval.”

THE TEAM

1. Susan is the only one who wants to be an adventurer and isn’t a wet blanket.
2. The women take turns screaming. At one point Barbara screams as a plunger comes at her, which is supposed to be scary I guess? I mean, I guess you don’t know what might be ON that plunger, so.
3. The Doctor is a selfish jerk and Ian is bossy. No one believes Susan and she’s always right. So there are no changes there.
4. Barbara figures out how to open the doors before anyone else. Later, Barbara comes up with the mud solution to beat the Daleks, and Ian contributes by getting brutally and violently plunged.
5. WHY ARE YOU SPLITTING THE PARTY??? They keep doing this! Once they all get captured by Daleks because of it, and once a Thal friend meets DEATH BY TENTACLE THINGY because of it.
6. The doctor says: “I am too old to be a pioneer, although I was once among my own people.”

THE SETTING

1. They eat candy bars that taste like bacon and eggs.
2. The viewscreen is teeny tiny by today’s standards.
3. At one point they find a Geiger counter in the Dalek city that says “Danger” on it in English.
4. The Tardis has a lock that if opened incorrectly, MELTS stuff.
5. They still haven’t fed the Tardis and it sounds really hungry. But there were no goats on this planet, only a dead metallic animal.

THE SHOW

1. The city design is really cool, even if you can tell it’s a miniature. The asymmetrical doors are a nice touch–it reminds me of Ghostbusters, “No human would stack books that way.” It’s clearly a very small set but they get a lot of mileage out of it.
2. The makeup is good, considering the show is black and white. The doctor looks genuinely sweaty and ill.
3. The padding in this is more noticeable on a re-watch. There’s more sneaking around the city and running through the woods and wandering around in caves than is strictly necessary.
4. You know, when a neutron bomb ISN’T the worst thing that can happen to you, you can’t say the stakes aren’t high enough.
5. We are still doing cliffhanger endings.

Sources Include

• ShannonSullivan.com
• The TARDIS Data Core