We still have never had even an implied sex scene to my knowledge on screen with any Doctor.
And here’s a quote from The Mirror’s interview with Jon Pertwee (who played the Third Doctor) a couple months before the TV movie came out, on the Doctor having sex: “It goes against the spirit of the original series but it was obvious when they cast a handsome young man they would involve him in romance. I don’t know what kids will make of it. It’s a sign of the times I guess,” sighs 76 -year-old Jon Pertwee. .https://cuttingsarchive.org/index.php/Look_Who_Gets_A_Bonk!https://cuttingsarchive.org/index.php/My_Dr_Who_Had_No_Time_For_Sex#tab=TextAn article about Paul McGann that was published 3 months before the movie aired. Tt again hints at a romantic relationship, and has Mcgann drop the half-human line well before the movie came out. McGann also mentions how he was initially reluctant to take the role. https://cuttingsarchive.org/index.php/So_Who%27s_a_pretty_boy_then,_Doctor%3FOne more pre-release article. This one covers a lot of the same ground but does specifically discuss how fans might react to the slick look and better sets. In the future, we’ll post some reviews and articles about the fan response to the 1996 Doctor Who TV movie. https://cuttingsarchive.org/index.php/A_blast_from_the_past_and_the_future_-_it%27s_Doctor_Who
CONTENT WARNING: Discussion of transphobia, body dysmorphia and eating disorders
We jump back to modern Who with the 2005 episode End of the World. As Rose jumps 5 billion years into the future to witness her planet be consumed by fire, we witness the continuing attempts of Russell T. Davies to make Doctor Who work in modern TV. Does this attempt work better for us than his pilot episode? WILL ANYONE SURVIVE? ARE THERE KITTENS? (There aren’t.)
Daleks Aren’t Robots!? is a podcast in which two Whovian friends take two non-Whovians on a deep dive through the show from the very beginning.
Look for us where all podcasts are found! Also in the hearts of children everywhere. Their dark, evil and wicked hearts of darkity-darkness and ravenous TARDISes.
Podcast Contents Include
Editor’s Note: The following are my original notes for the podcast, slightly edited for readability. They’re very far from the full contents of the pod, though. – Kari
SUMMARY
The Doctor takes Rose to the End of the World, 5 billion years in the future, which is the worst idea for a first date ever. A bunch of rich people are watching the sun go nova, but one of them sabotages the space station they’re on. Rose gets stuck in a room while the Doctor saves the day.
OUR TEAM
The Doctor is the star of this episode… to the detriment of every other character in it. It seemed super familiar to me but I couldn’t place it, and then I realized what it reminded me of: Twilight. In this episode specifically, the Doctor is Bella Swan and the other characters only exist to develop his character, to tell him how great he is and to flirt with him, unless they’re bad guys. Then they exist to be killed by him.
I think it’s from the way that they basically hired fans of the Doctor to write the show. And they were fans of the Doctor, so at least in this episode, they did a fanfic, putting their OC version of the Doctor center stage to show off how cool he is. Like Twilight, it’s basically a canon fanfic, and not a good one. Every version of the Doctor I’ve seen has been arrogant, but the show KNEW it and didn’t frame it as a good thing, and allowed him to get his comeuppance from time to time. This show or at least THIS EPISODE doesn’t know it.
I do like the characterization here of the Doctor as childlike and a bit giddy. He does murder someone on screen though, with nary a lampshade to be seen…
After a whole episode setting up Rose as our POV character, in this episode she gets damseled hard at about the halfway mark and is reduced to lying down and whimpering while she waits for the Doctor to save her and everyone else. It’s not just that it’s kind of sexist, although it is, but it’s also bad writing. You spent that long setting up a POV character for the audience and then sidelined her to create a second POV character who is then incinerated? Sure, Ian. Sure.
THE OTHERS
This episode seems to have issues with women.
Jabe, the tree, exists to flirt with the Doctor, to feel sorry for the Doctor, and then to sacrifice herself so the Doctor can be a hero. It’s a shame, because her design is neat and she seemed like an interesting person. It almost seems like Rose was supposed to help the Doctor at the end but they replaced her with Jabe at the last minute or something.
Raffalo, the plumber, chats with Rose a bit but then is killed by the plot.
Cassandra, the “Last Human,” is heavily female coded but says she was a “boy.” She is racist. Her main trait is that she’s vain and has gotten plastic surgery so many times she’s just skin stretched on a rack with some makeup on it. On the bright side she did convince me to up my moisturization regimen, so there is that.
Jackie only appears for a few minutes but still manages to talk about how Rose should get her money back for something and tell her to pick her up a lottery ticket, because the greedy poors want the moneys, I guess.
The Steward is not a woman, but the plot kills him off pretty quickly to show that the spiders are a murder weapon for sure.
THE SETTING
The Setting IS the characters in this one, mostly, and they are actually pretty great designs. Some of them look a bit silly, yes, but the designs are different and interesting, and it’s good to see the show taking advantage of its newly-acquired budget of more than pocket lint. The trees look really cool, and so did the giant face. One thing–Rose says they’re very ALIEN aliens and I just thought: no they’re not, they’re just people who look a bit funny. The plumber in particular was just like anybody but bluer.
The observation room set Rose gets stuck in looks cool, and so do the images of the exploding earth and the sun. The engine room is a little bit dodgier, as it seems to be mostly composed of bad CG. It’s not bad enough to hurt my suspension of disbelief though.
They do mention that there was a war and the Doctor’s planet was destroyed, and he’s the last son of Krypton I mean the last Time Lord. (Doctorgirl is gonna be a thing, right? Is there a Bottle City of Gallifrey?)
The future is SUPER classist, and plumbers have to be given permission to talk even after being asked a direct question. And the motive for the crime here is money. Somewhere Marx is crying. They could imagine a future without religion but not without capitalism? Religion predates capitalism, guys.
The three songs they bring up as “classical,” which are meant to be a joke? They’re all three actually really good pop songs. Sorry, but Tainted Love, Toxic and Disco Inferno are all pretty great songs in their own right, so that doesn’t read as a joke anymore.
They explain the Tardis translation thing, which is nice.
Psychic paper is stupid.
THE PRODUCTION
Is Lady Cassandra a trans woman or what? What’s with the boy stuff? Queer coding villains, bleh.
Were those dwarves or children?
What WAS the budget on this?
Do any of these alien groups come back or were they one-shots? I liked the trees a lot, I hope they come back. (Editor’s Note: The trees do not. 😦 )
How much of this was Giant Rat of Sumatra stuff? It’s an incident mentioned as an aside in a Sherlock Holmes story and then never brought up again–are they going to do a fanfic thing and backfill it for continuity porn? I hope not. I don’t mind a little of that but sometimes a giant rat is better not explained.
The Dalens Aren’t Robots team returns to the First Doctor and the group that started it all: Susan, Barbara, Ian and the Doctor, plus the ever-beautiful and half-starving TARDIS.
As it turns out, size DOES matter, but maybe not in the way you’re thinking. Who will hold the idiot ball this time? Listen and find out!
Daleks Aren’t Robots!? is a podcast in which two Whovian friends take two non-Whovians on a deep dive through the show from the very beginning.
Editor’s Note: The following are my original notes for the podcast, slightly edited for readability. They’re very far from the full contents of the pod, though. – Kari
SUMMARY
The Tardis has a malfunction, with the doors popping open and everyone having to shut them by force. They land and start exploring, finding a bunch of dead giant bugs, including an ant the size of a doberman. They eventually work out they ARE on earth, but shrunk to the size of an inch high. They split up and have to look for each other a couple times.
There are some full-sized humans in this episode. Forrester, Farrow and Smithers. Forrester is a businessman, Farrow a safety inspector and Smithers a scientist working on a new pesticide. Farrow finds the pesticide works but TOO WELL–it kills EVERYTHING, including beneficial bugs like bees and earthworms, and persists in the environment afterward, making it unfeasible as a pesticide. Forrester has been producing the pesticide for a year and will lose everything if it’s not sold, so he kills Farrow, which the Tardis Team sees. Smithers finds out about the murder, but he doesn’t realize the pesticide is bad, so he agrees to help Forrester cover up the murder of Farrow.
This means the Tardis team can’t just ask for help–even if the humans could understand their tiny high pitched voices one of them is a MURDERER and isn’t gonna want witnesses no matter what size they are. They also work out that the pesticide is unworkable–and Barb touches it before she realizes it’s on a piece of grain she’s picking up. Unfortunately she does not tell ANYONE and holds the idiot ball instead. UGH.
The Tardis team tries to call the cops about the murder, using a GIANT TELEPHONE but they can’t be understood with their high pitch. They set up an explosion to burn down the lab, which doesn’t really work but does wound Forrester, just in time for a policeman to come in and arrest him, because he ALSO tried to get away with pretending to be Farrow on the phone even though he sounds nothing like him, AND Smithers has worked out that the pesticide is bad and is determined to stop Farrow anyway.
The team gets back to the Tardis and the Doctor manages to restore them to their original size, which cures the by now VERY ill Barbara because… SCIENCE! I guess. and the Tardis starts to materialize again!
THE TEAM
Barbara gets the worst treatment in this one, and she holds the Idiot Ball. It’s super unfortunate. She touches the poisoned grain, which isn’t unreasonable, but then she doesn’t tell anyone she’s touched it when she finds out it was poisoned. There’s no real reason given for this either, and it sucks. She even faints, although I’m willing to attribute that to getting poisoned rather than being a wimp.
Ian also carries the idiot ball a little bit early on, in that he sees a giant seed thing with a bunch of text including “Norfolk” on it and can’t concede he’s tiny, even when he and Susan find the matchbox. Otherwise he does pretty well, and serves as the muscle and tries to illuminate some of the science.
Poor Ian’s actor when he’s in the matchbox knocking back and forth. It’s hilarious and terribly fake but he’s doing the best he can with what he’s got!
Susan doesn’t have a huge part here but she’s plucky and smart. She catches on to the fact that they’re tiny first. She climbs the drain spout. She does get a bit upset when Ian is picked up in the matchbox, but not to the point that it’s unreasonable.
The Doctor has shown so much character growth here. He gets very snippy at everyone early on, but he apologizes SINCERELY to Barbara without being made to, and he voluntarily opts to look for Ian when he gets taken up in the matchbox.
It is however HILARIOUS when he says he can’t expect sympathy from a murderer. WE’VE BEEN WATCHING THIS SHOW, MY DUDE.
Also the Doctor has a cape now and it’s great.
The Tiny Tardis is freaking adorable. I love that they use the miniature for the Tardis and it looks kind of silly and like it’s a miniature, and then you find out IT IS.
THE GUEST STARS
There’s a cat, and at first I thought that was going to be the main antagonist, but the cat is not. Pretty cat, though.
The plot with the guest stars is absolutely inspired. It adds a lot of complication to the story and gives them another reason not to just ask for help.
Forrester is a murderer, and he’s pretty threatening, but also not very smart, as he assumes he can pretend to be his victim easily.
Farrow is the one who’s been charged with testing the new insecticide, and he finds that it works–but TOO well. It kills EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. He tells this to Forrester, who says he’ll be RUINED financially if they publicize that the pesticide is a bad one. Farrow won’t budge and says he’ll turn in the report with the truth in it. Forrester shoots Farrow.
Smithers is another scientist who’s absolutely desperate to get the new pesticide out, because it will enable them to feed more people. He doesn’t know that the new pesticide kills ALL the insects and Forrester lies to him about it. Smithers decides rather than allowing Forrester’s murder of Farrow to derail their pesticide, he will help Forrester cover it up so that they can get the pesticide out and feed the world. When he finds out the pesticide is bad he tries to act.
Smithers and Forrester seem like a couple. They stand super close to each other and Forrester is the worst boyfriend.
THE SETTING
The science in this one is ridiiiiiculous so many times. From the pressure on the Tardis shrinking them, to the “fact” that Barbara’s tiny body is “too small” to fight off the insecticide. Also, I don’t think they get bio-accumulation thing quite right–they say the scientist has made the pesticide “everlasting.” rather than pointing out it persists through the food chain (like some real pesticides do, such as DDT).
The setting is glorious, though. Things blown up to giant size are great. Sometimes they use rear projection and sometimes not. The bugs BASICALLY look like the bugs ought to look like. The “giant sink” set is pretty great, and the giant bit of grain is a cute prop.
THE PRODUCTION
I really like the story in this episode. It’s a lot better than “honey I shrunk the tardis crew.” By adding the murderers as a plotline it gives you an added element of danger. The episode isn’t fast-paced but it steadily builds the tension, with a ticking clock in the form of Barb getting poisoned.
How did they do the effects? What was their budget like?
Where does this fit in with DDT/Silent Spring, which basically kills everything AND bio-accumulates?
DALEK SCORE I really liked this one. It’s slower-paced but the tension keeps building and building.
The DAR team travels to the 1970s to see the first serial of the Third Doctor era. With the Doctor now stuck on Earth, do we feel as trapped as the Doctor or as happy as non-body slammed Nixon? Find out.
Daleks Aren’t Robots!? is a podcast in which two Whovian friends take two non-Whovians on a deep dive through the show from the very beginning.
Editor’s Note: The following are my original notes for the podcast, slightly edited for readability. They’re very far from the full contents of the pod, though. – Kari
OUR TEAM
The Doctor:
This Doctor is great. He flirts with Liz and seems very debonair. He is handsome for a 51-year-old guy and wears an apparently Edwardian-era opera cape and a cool hat (which needs more feathers). Also there’s another topless Doctor shot in this one and he has a hilarious white butt, though you don’t see it, just his tan line.
This Doctor has a TATTOO and he wears a gold bracelet. Do we ever find out what the gold bracelet is from or says? Does it say anything? Do we ever find out what the tattoo is? Did they give it to the Doctor or does this actor just have a tatt? What is it and what does it mean?
The Doctor knows how to drive. He is also very tricksy like First and tried to escape from Lethbridge-Stewart. He has a ton of charisma and he seems brave. Hasn’t tried to murder anyone who wasn’t already hostile… YET.
At one point he runs away in a wheelchair and that’s hilarious and also very in character.
At another point he bulls***s his way back to LBS and essentially he Karens his way into speaking with the ranking military guy onsite.
He also cons Liz into stealing the Tardis key from LBS.
He extorts LBS at the end to get a lab, facilities to fix the Tardis, a car like the one he LITERALLY STOLE, clothes, and Liz as an assistant. He lies and says his name is Doctor John Smith. SUUUUUURE.
Liz Shaw:
She’s our only Companion at this point. She seems to be primarily a researcher but also has a medical degree, apparently? She’s super smart like Barbara but doesn’t take any crap from anybody, and needles Lethbridge-Stewart fairly often, which is fun. She is a skeptic and doesn’t believe in all this space crap until it happens.
She seems pretty brave, and though she’s very creeped out by the mannequins she reacts a whole lot better than most of the other people in this story.
She actually rolls her eyes when the old man general hits on her, but doesn’t seem to object when the Doctor hits on her… he IS pretty good looking for his age.
Lethbridge-Stewart, AKA LBS:
He is a military dude in charge of UNIT, which… what is UNIT? Why did they call it that? Do they know what it’s slang for?
He has a Mustache of Authority.
To his credit, he points out to the general that Liz is not just a pretty face when the general makes a sexist comment to her. He seems to have a somewhat adversarial relationship with Liz and has worked with the Doctor before–presumably, the Second Doctor. What did they do together?
He’s not technically a companion, but he kind of is?
What are UNIT’s resources? Who ARE these people? Is this like a military Men in Black? HOW do they cover this s*** up?
The Tardis:
We haven’t seen the inside of this Tardis yet, and apparently it’s broken.
It sounds tired, when was the last time it had a Gavroche?
THE OTHERS
There are a lot of guests in this one.
Hibbert, AKA Good Factory Guy: The person who runs the plastic mannequin/doll factory, he’s being brainwashed into being an unwitting pawn of….
Channing, AKA Evil Factory Guy: He’s the local representative of the Nestene Consciousness and is actually a mannequin himself. He’s trying to collect the plastic globes so that the Nestenes can reform into the PERFECT BEING and take over the world. Also he’s got a plasticy complexion and is satisfyingly creepy and threatening but also capable of being VERY upset.
The Nestene Consciousness, which in this isn’t a pool of melted plastic but a bunch of plastic wrap around an eyeball with tendons that’s covered in applesauce. Then it becomes what looks like felted tentacles and I don’t understand why there aren’t plushies of the felted tentacles. WHERE IS YOUR MARKETING DEPARTMENT.
Evil Mannequins. These are actually creepier than the ones in the modern Doctor Who, I think. They look less human and their eyes are icky.
Ransome, AKA Inventor: He was involved with the factory and tries to blow the whistle on the weirdness going on there but gets brutally murdered. He has a fantastically rubbery face and mugs his terror for the camera beautifully. He dies horribly and gets vaporized.
General Scobie, AKA The General: He’s an annoying regular army guy that LBS reports to, and he makes a sexist comment to Liz. He gets replaced by a plastic mannequin but doesn’t die.
Sam the Poacher: He finds one of the plastic globes the Nestene consciousness is in and brings it home.
Meg, his wife: She’s awesome, when the mannequin comes to take the plastic globe her husband hid in her house, she GETS A SHOTGUN and shoots the mannequin. She gets clobbered but DOESN’T DIE and why can’t Meg be a Companion?
Assorted doctors and nurses and an evil vacuumer that calls the press, but we don’t really care about them.
THE SETTING
It’s the 70s in Britain. Are we gonna stay here? It’s… very 1970s Britain.
The hospital building is cool, it has some really nice wooden paneling. The woods are… woods. There’s a nice car.
Everyone sounds like they’re in a cave now. 😦 And the offices are very impersonal, even the science room is very impersonal. Doesn’t anyone put up posters or pictures of families or even a “hang in there” cat?
When you see glowing stuff from space why don’t you think “maybe it’s radioactive?”
The factory is terrifying there are no safety shields ANYWHERE. HOW IS THIS ALLOWED???
So the autons… the first time they shoot, are people dead or just stunned? The second time is disintegration. Why was this changed for NuWho?
We did not get a fight between wax Gandhi and wax Nixon. 😦 😦 😦
THE PRODUCTION
OOH COLOR
THE SOUND IS “EVERYONE IS IN A CAVE NOW.”
I wanna know about Pertwee. Why is Liz the way she is?
WHY ARE THEY STUCK ON EARTH?
WHY IS UNIT?
Is this the first time we’ve seen blood in a Doctor Who?
We did get some fire in this one, as there’s an explosion, also several gunfights. LOTS OF GUNS. No more angry complaints to the BBC?
Daleks Aren't Robots!? 